Lately I've been working on letting go. I'm slowly learning everything's not always going to go the way I imagined and I don't have to be so controling. Rob's been trying to convince me for a while now that people actually like pitching in; it helps them feel included. He even told me his dad threw a dinner party once where he jedi-mind-tricked a friend into mowing his yard. I think that's a hilariously extreme example but point taken. I like feeling included too.
We'd been planning our potluck reception for a while (by planning I mean saying "it's a potluck, easy enough"). The day before the party, the cutesy utensils my sister and I worked for hours on, lanterns, the fanciest paper plates you've ever seen, and tons of other junk we probably could've done without were in a gigantic pile in our living room. Since Rob is into keeping within a strict budget and I have this idiotic theory that I can DIY anything, we had decided to make a three tier-naked-vegan-wedding cake. Vegan cake does not rise, people. That meant that I had to bake twice the amount I would have needed otherwise. Seven hours of baking later we grumpily packed our mountain of junk into the car and drove to Austin in possibly the worst thunderstorm of the year. The reception was off to an exciting start.
If you haven't noticed a trend yet, I worry a lot more than Rob. He reminds me often that the worst that could happen isn't really that bad. "So what if we're drinking from red solo cups and there's no food or music? People will still have fun! The goal is celebrate with everyone. We can do that without flowers and fancy shoes." Red solo cups are not at all what I had in mind, so I had a really hard time digesting his "helpful" suggestions. I gave him the evil eye while the Red Solo Cup song ran though my head... "I'll fill you up... let's have a party!" I guess the song is on Rob's side.
His "worst case scenario" pep-talks really do usually make me feel better. The morning of the reception I wanted to jump right into things, but Rob talked about how little rushing and stressing would get accomplished and forced me into brunch with friends. When I'm stuck on the silly details and they seem to grow bigger and bigger until I feel like everything is going to be a disaster, I'm so grateful I have a sweet, patient husband that reminds me what really matters and amazing friends who are immensely helpful and fun. Thank you, thank you, thank you! There's no one in the world I would've rather celebrated with.
When I think back on our reception I'm pretty sure this is what I'll remember most:
- Baking vegan chai spiced cake over and over again hoping for a fluffier result then giving up and just baking 9 cakes to stack on top of each other. Everyone in my office and the dog park who ate practice cake keeps asking for do-overs!
- Having pre-party brunch with friends (I'd never expect vegan gravy smothered hash browns to taste that delicious. I'm addicted and would completely take two orders right now)!
- Four of us icing the wedding cake trying to keep it from falling over - "We'll just make this side the front".
- Keli and I grabbing three buckets of flowers at the flower warehouse like kids in a candy store, then frantically running around putting handfuls back when they rang up to $300. We're pretty sure the guy ringing us up must've thought we were cute cause we ended up with three peonies and a bunch of fern curls for free! Oh ya, we've still got it. Rob looked skeptical when we told him we only spent $137.
- Laughing at the number of meat dishes everyone brought to the pot-luck. Rob is vegan so everyone assumed pot-luck was really code for bring-your-own-meat.
- My mom trying not to cry or sound nervous making her toast. She Googled long and hard for the perfect quote, she's adorable and I'm so excited we get to live so close to each other now. Speaking of toasts, we jokingly told my sister Alyssa she was "required" to make a toast. "Kori, I like your face and your hair reminds me of mermaids." is what she came up with. I think that may be the nicest compliment I've ever received. Mermaids do have beautiful hair!
- Taking dance lessons very seriously then drinking too much champagne before the real thing. I was so nervous. Rob sang me all the words, like first dance karaoke. I love dancing with Rob and secretly love when he sings too.
- Dehron making a special trip to pick up Party Cat. Bow-tie clad he sat right there with everyone, people petting him as they made a drink run. I love that no matter how old we get we're still easily amused.
- Thinking how sweet Emil was lugging his treasured collectors sound system he bought on Japanese eBay to the party after we figured out the building's sound system was a non-functioning-gigantic-mess.
We wanted to celebrate with our friends and family, eat, drink, dance and thank them all for supporting and loving us, not impress them with how fancy we could be. Mission accomplished and lesson learned. I wouldn't want it any other way.